How is my poem? I don't mind criticism? - journey into bliss subtitles
I wonder what you think.
Homage to the weakness
The sad path to the future
It contains within itself a thousand souls
To keep forever
It contains the stories of those who drown in the fear
Now is my time to cross that bridge
The downstream fish contaminated
Reflecting on my last water sample
The past is condemned in the eyes of the heart
However, blind to the pain of the mind
Last, the control over the mouth of the river
The dream of happiness, and that the line
In search of freedom that attracts me here
We are a nation of people miser
This is not our nature to forgive
We are hungry people in general
The weakest among us into the pit
Left in confusion, depression
Those who come to rely, before the imposition of the death penalty
Trying to its past to regulate regression
Therefore, starting on the road in the distance
End of the waste in the sorrows of the past
Sad hearts that have no homePosition.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Journey Into Bliss Subtitles How Is My Poem? I Don't Mind Criticism?
4 comments:
Wow! Very good! Keep up the good work! His spirit is very deep. So deep that I hope are not depressed. However, good writers are deep thinkers. It must be! It may be superficial. Only a few places I suggest you do some work. But since they only 16, I think I would leave this poem alone and keep writing. In each letter, find out more. So, occasionally in his writings and criticism of lines with which they are unhappy. Every writer needs to learn the professional techniques that will come with time, while at the same time writing about what interests them. In my mind, for constructive criticism of this reading can be easier if you decide that the lines rhyme, and constant. If you do not want to rhyme, it is. Be proud of yourself!
God! It's only 16! Bravo, my friend, bravo! You need not wonder.
It is very good ....... what he actually wrote?
You obviously have a talent for writing poetry.
It is very good ....... what he actually wrote?
You obviously have a talent for writing poetry.
Post a Comment